January 2012
1 post
Ever stay up at night wishing you were dead?
Too bad wishes don’t come true…
December 2011
1 post
“You and I know what it’s like
To be kicked down
Forced to Fight
But...”
– Bruno Mars Lighters
November 2011
1 post
“As the world falls away and I can’t find the reason. As the world turns to...”
– Seether
September 2011
7 posts
Mike's Page: What is Love? →
“Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not…
It is taking me all of the strength I posses to not text you I love you tonight…Maybe here is enough…I love you…
I WISH I KNEW IF HE WANTED ME TO FIGHT FOR US
i wish i knew if i’m allowed to fight anyway
i wish i didn’t need to fight
I love you Mr. Pirana Face
Oh my Pretty Pink Bedroom...
…I never expected you to deceive me
Letting go of needing to be in control is not going to be easy…
August 2011
5 posts
Anonymous: I do believe that G-d doesn't give you things that are too hard to handle.
Me: I really am praying to G-d that you're right.
Anonymous: Pray to G-d. He listens. And answers.
Me: I'm not convinced that's true.
Anonymous: Oh he answers. He just doesn't always say yes.
Me: So is this him saying no to me?
Anonymous: No. It's him making sure you ask.
I’m trying to figure out how serenity is so fleeting. One moment it looks as though it’s all just a matter of time until my dreams come true. And the next moment I feel as though I’m taking away his. How do you decide? How do you know where to lay your loyalties? I’m so close to my fairy-tale but I’m scared of losing my prince. I need stability. So does he. We need...
Why did I stop singing?
When nothing fills my heart like a song….
July 2011
2 posts
Conversation Btwn Mike & I on FB on Aug 10th, 2010
Me: I still think that you should have bought the flock of pink flamingos and sent them to Hawaii to learn their true calling as belly dancers.
Mike: first lets see if we can train goats to produce tea
Me: So many fun couple activities, so little time!
I had it all planned out. The flowers. The clothing. What I would say. But once again I’m disappointed and alone. And I always will be. Lonely.
February 2011
2 posts
“I don’t want to sleep. I just wanna keep on lovin’ you.”
– REO Speedwagon
Pretty Pink Room
We place our trinkets upon the glass wishing more than anything that this place you call your house will become your home. The unfamiliar people. Unfamiliar midnight venture out of the room. Will you ever really know your way? Faith is a hard thing to have. Especially when faith is your only option. All you know is that the day seems brighter. The world less scary. You’re safe. In the pretty...
September 2010
1 post
It's way too hot out!
Me: I look like a melting clown
Mike: I don't believe that
.............wait for it.................
Mike: Clowns don't melt
July 2010
4 posts
I am not asleep
They say in life there are no second chances but what the hell do you do if you never got a first? To never be enough for anyone, even yourself, is suffocating. And today I collapse within myself. Because sometimes not hiding is so much worse.
“Lonely as I am, together we cry”
– Red Hot Chili Peppers Under the Bridge
The Hug
Some may call it epic. Some may say dramatic. But tonight…I couldn’t let you go. I don’t understand how I never felt the softness. The safety never as strong. The smell never as breath taking. Like your aura was the only thing clinging me to life. Pull me tighter. Hold me close. And never let me fall into those dark places of sadness. You are my salvation. Your hug, my...
June 2010
4 posts
There are no miracles.
Tonight’s life lesson? No one is thankful for anything.
In memory of Rochi
I don’t understand how God chooses who lives and who dies. Tonight my step mom got into a horrible accident and the doctors are saying she only lived because of where our dog was in the car. How does that even make sense? I also just found out that my mother’s best friend died. I want to be happy that her suffering is over but how can you feel anything other than grief when someone...
I can’t help but imagine all these little Chinese men running around and working on my laptop. For some reason all the little Chinese men are in lab coats and have orange hair and actually look like uber creepy umpa lumpas. My fantasy world is fun. I hope my lap top doesn’t miss the boat to America again. I wants it!
Second Yankee game with Mike tonight! Double date with Teddy and...
Chchchchch Changes!
My life is unrecognizable. How did I get such great friends? How did everything go back to being good? How did I graduate college? Lets take a minute and go back into the last week of my life.
Tuesday - Hillel formal where I got surprised with an engraved necklace and beautiful jewelry box Wednesday - BALA Graduation where Prof Leventhal talked about my epic victory at the case study Thursday -...
May 2010
5 posts
Mosquitoes are Mean
Formal is tomorrow.
BALA Graduation is Wednesday.
Big and English Graduation is Thursday.
Oh and I just ordered a new lap top. Pretty soon I will stop being a mac user. Yayness.
God is funny
Apparently when Mike and I have incredible dates something EXTREME needs to follow it. So what happened after our incredible movie date last night? No please, ask me, you know you want to. We got invited to go to his family’s bbq today where I was with no less than 10 nieces and nephews, both his brothers and their wives, and his mother. Be careful what you wish for much? But I think it...
Watched Robin Hood tonight with my prince.
Incredible movie and yummy snacks - $11 (per person) Realizing my boy friend also loves this time period - Priceless
I really really really want a Nook!!!!!!
April 2010
10 posts
“Life is hard enough without people making it harder…”
– My Step-Mom (Uber true, btw)
Who would have thought that the defining moment would happen after the game?
Making the steps in the right direction and couldn’t be happier.
First baseball game with my boy friend tomorrow…..Why does this seem like a defining moment?
Yay! 2 days till my baby is 21!
Ever have one of those horrible days where everything seems to piss you off because everything seems to go wrong….and then your loofa breaks???
-I’m still trying to understand the symbolism here.
I’ve had an epiphany…..I can’t handle being afraid so instead I get angry
I get that you don’t want to face reality. But the days to my reality are ticking by way too quickly. Soon I’ll be on my own with nothing to do and no where to go but I’m staying here for you. I stay and I hope and I pray that you’ll hit reality too some time. Only, you do whatever you need to not to. And what does that say for me? That I’m being stupid for staying?...
Ah the wonders of hell! Been awake for 35 minutes and already my day sucks and I want to go back to sleep.
“We were worse than jerks cause we were mean jerks”
– High School Musical (Because it is true. Mean jerks suck more than regular jerks)
“So you think you can tell heaven from hell”
– Pink Floyd Wish You Were Here
The sun makes my world so much darker
“No one ever takes the blame but everyone is searching for a cure to the pain”
– Hanson Strong Enough to Break
Food for thought….the only way to not cost money is to be dead….which isn’t actually true because funerals get expensive and even cremating has a fee….I guess the only way to do it is to have your body dumped into a river….but then the gas costs money to get to the river….hmm, have someone hide you in their closet?
Damn capitalist world. Damn morbid brain.
December 2009
4 posts
Sometimes I feel like I talk in facebook status…epic fail
Candlelit Meditations
I’m meditating for the first time in months. I can’t quite capture the feelings but I’m going to try and relax and be in the moment….
Tonight I’m thinking about love. Love from my parents, from my friends, from my life, from myself. My parents let me down so often that sometimes it feels impossible to believe that they love me. It’s like I need to force them to...
Never going to be important enough…..
The truth is I’m jealous and I’m angry about all the time you spend with them.